Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Crying in Inappropriate Places

Are there inappropriate places to cry? Initially, I say no. Cry whereever or whenever you need. This weekend though I confronted crying in an inappropriate place: Walt Disney World. At least I wasn’t at the Magic Kingdom. I was at EPCOT. Still, I think that EPCOT is an inappropriate place to cry. Yet, I cried thinking that my cat was deteriorating and going to die. She may be, but even though I rushed home (crying all the way on the Metro), she isn’t at that moment where she needs to be taken to the vet to be put to sleep. She’s not eating enough. She’s not great and her thyroid is out of control, but she’s not to the point where she wants to be out of pain and misery. So instead of writing about my cat’s death, I can write about crying in inappropriate places.
There wasn’t really anything wrong with crying at EPCOT. It just felt asynchronous. It was sunny and in the low 70s. People were happy and celebrating the magic of Disney. I was crying. There was something wrong with the picture. Even Disney, however, could not help me pull myself out of the depression of thinking that I was going to lose my cat.
Her sister died two years ago. It was terribly sad. I don’t want to lose Gertrude, though I fear her days are numbered. I hope, however, that the tears I’ve shed over the past three days will mitigate the pain when the next day arrives. I hope that day has me only in places that are appropriate to cry. Though I don’t know exactly where that would be.

No comments: