Sunday, May 31, 2009

Dear Roxie,

I've been thinking about you this weekend. Knowing where you are headed, I wanted to post you a few words before your journey. I'm no Mitch Albom, though we hail from the same city, but thought this might be useful to you as you entire the next phase.

When you get to heaven (which we all know is assured), you can look up my sister, Lara. I'm a little unclear about the heaven thing in general, and more particularly if people in heaven are at the age when they died or if they go back to some super special age in their life. If they are at the age when they died, there will be lots of oldsters there, which you may enjoy, but when you need a break, look for Lara. In addition to being young and fun, she likes small dogs so will have lots of treats and time for rubbing your ears and belly.

Look for the Jew part of heaven. You'll know you're there because everyone will say, I don't really believe in any of this, but you look swell, Sol. Or something like that. Roxie, this may not appeal to you, but well, this is my advice to you and you're under no obligation to take it. If you could though, look up Maimonides. Hang out with him for a spell. I think it would be fascinating. And find the four matriarchs. How does Sarah spend her days? Did she get into gambling? That's my bet. Leah? Rachel? Rebecca? They been there a long time, and I wonder how they are using their days.

Visit Virginia. She'll also be sympathetic to dogs. You've read her biography of the Brownings' spaniel, I suspect. I imagine she spends her days surrounded by sunshine and flowers with ample silence and good food service. Table scraps will definitely come your way if you find Virginia.

Look for Gertrude and Alice. Gertrude will probably interrogate you thoroughly then either embrace you with further demands or dismiss you. The latter might be better. Hang out with Alice in the kitchen or during early mornings when she's typing. Unless she's dropped that task and hired in a young chippie to translate Gertrude's late night scrawls into text.

The fact of the matter is there are scads of lesbians and lesbian couples who can provide hours of entertainment for you and keep you in the environment to which you've become accustomed. Look for Rosa and Nathalie (or maybe she prefers to hang out with Anne?), Renee, Natalie, Muriel, May, Audre, Pat, and May. Elizabeth will probably be a grump, but she might share a little nip of alcohol for an afternoon nap.

You can look beyond the lesbos, too. I've always wanted to have a nice long chat with Bayard and James. Or a cocktail conversation with Pierre Louys (he may be fascinating, but I wouldn't commit to more until after I had a brief chitty-chat. Oh, and the scientists! Marie, Irene, Lise. Meet them all.

Roxie, you're going to have so much fun. I want to encourage you to relax and enjoy and, at least for the first few days, don't look back. There will be many missing you and mourning your sudden absence.

No comments: